During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.
I described a typical day this way:

“Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk,
About 7 miles, through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake.
I pushed my way through brambles.
I got sand in my shoes and my eyes
I avoided standing on a snake.
I climbed several rocky hills.

I took a few ‘leaks’ behind some big trees.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered.
At the end of it all I drank eight beers”.

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
“You must be one hell of an outdoors-man!”

“No,” I replied, “just a shitty golfer”.